What has FEAR been doing to you?

Fear can no longer reside here. If you are ever going to get anything accomplished, fear has to GO. The problem is, fear is never leaving.  Fear is a necessary part of our lives. The dictionary definition says that fear is an unpleasant emotion cause by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.   Fear warns of impending danger and the emotion of fear can literally save your life.

But there are times when fear is unwelcomed and unwarranted.  Like when you are ready to step out of your comfort zone and pursue a goal or when you are ready to do something you have never done before.

The biggest fear we face—— is the fear of the UNKNOWN,( this is where I would insert that creepy killer Michel Meyers, Jason is coming to get you theme music.LoL)  

We are afraid of what we don’t know and what we can’t see.  We just want fear to go away and that is the wrong way to combat fear.  In the book “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu it says “If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you can fight a thousand wars”(paraphrased)  basically what it is saying is: Knowing what you are up against helps you prepare for the battle.

I’ve wondered many times when will this fear go away, will it ever leave?  I’ve even tried to wait it out and nothing happened except time kept passing and before I knew it, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months and eventually years passed by.  

I lived in the land of shoulda, couldas and wouldas all while trying to wait fear out.

So let me tell you what I discovered:

  1. Fear is going to do what it does (that’s my slang talking, LOL), I had to learn what situation I was in:  Am in Danger? Is this going to cause me pain? Is this a threat to me? And the answer was usually, NO, NO and NO.
  2. So then I had to look at what this emotion was that I was really dealing with, because by definition I already said no to all the above things that the dictionary said was fear. So in essence I wasn’t in fear.  So what was it?:
    • Did I feel inadequate?
    • Did I feel ill prepared?
    • Did I not know how people would respond?

Because if those were the emotions I was feeling; that was not Fear. Those were deeper roots that I needed to look at.

Many times we call things fear, when it’s really a lack of preparation and sometimes being unsure of the outcome is what keeps us paralyzed from moving forward.

When I first started writing this article, I thought it was going to lead me to end up telling you about courage, Hmmm… that was not the case.  Courage is a separate topic. I thought I was going to tell you to push past fear and into courage… NOT.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, we call things fear when that is not actually what it is. 

Could it be Procrastination, Excuses, Lack of Planning, Insecurity, Inadequacy?

Can it be that we are not willing to face what we know we need to face? Could it be that we are not willing to actually do the work and see it all the way through?

It could be a number of reasons.  But, what I do know is you have to find out what is at the root of it. You have to be willing to ask the hard questions and sit with the answers  to gain clarity on how to move forward.

If you lean into whatever steps you need to take to accomplish the goal and complete the task it  will give you the confidence you need. You then will be able to take on anything because you have readied yourself.  Even if you don’t know what the outcome will be, you can go into it knowing that you gave it your all.

Now that will give you the COURAGE you need to push pass what you think is FEAR.

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